Friday, January 20, 2012

Rebound love never lasts

"Rebound relationships occur very shortly after the end of a significant love, and sometimes begin before the end. The problem with a rebound is that it doesn't allow time for the grieving and healing processes to be complete.

When this happens, there is emotional confusion. Sometimes, the feelings for the old partner simply transfer to the new one, and there is the illusion that you've found someone totally "different," when, in fact, you've found someone very much like your old love." -- Nina Atwood

Well, I'm no superwoman. I cannot just say that I moved on. I am still angry with my ex-boyfriend. Yes. With everything that I did for him, he just left me with those hurtful words. Moving forward, lemme tell you how we (a new guy and I) met.

He's my college school mate. We went to the same school and have the same course. He was popular because he then, dated a popular girl, he has a car and because he was from a creme section. We really don't know each other back then. I have my own friends and he has his. Although we have some common friends, we were never really formally introduced.

Then sometime last year, he posted in twitter (I cannot remember how I followed him, I mean I really didnt know that he has a twitter. Eh.) "I'll be making some changes in my life, you don't hear from me it means that youre one of them" well, that aint the exact words pero parang ganyan na din. Haha. It was very random and I didnt really mean anything when I replied something that made him reply "not one of them"

That was the start of it. We chatted before that tweet pero sobrang random tas di naman constant. But it was after that tweet when we started sending tweets to each other. I did not felt anything serious or whatever at start. It was when one of my friends told me that he likes me. I kept on denying it because it was too good to be true. So we tweeted and then chatted in facebook.

He was in Australia. He studies nursing there so he could work. He came from a wealthy family and dated beautiful girls way back in college so I was really not thinking that he would like me or whatever. (Distance, Status and his preference made me say so)

Then a random night when he told me not to expect anything from him. I was shocked and I didnt know what to say. It was the first time when someone said something like straight to my face. The worst part is that I was just enjoying his company that time. I never really thought that anything beyond that will happen with us. That made me stop chatting him.

Then came this one afternoon, he buzzed. He was asking if im okay blah blah. I told him the truth. I told him that I was shocked and that I was not happy. He then gave me a link of a youtube video. It was him singing. I suddenly felt happy and I was like "What the fuck man! You sang that??" hahaha! Moving forward, he then made me happy again and we started chatting again.

It was like a night habit that we chat for whatever things. Then he came back to the Philippines for holidays. He asked me to go with him and his friends in one of their house in Laguna for fun. What's new, I didn't go.

Then we started texting because he gave me his number. I did not texted him the same day, napaka-excited ko naman kung ganun. hahaha!

Then there was this time when my team had this Christmas dinner at Dampa. I asked him if he wanted to come but he declined. t'was okay. fair enough. haha. then that same night he asked me if I wanna go with him and some of his friends at Dapo, Tomas Morato.

I asked Paul, my workmate, who lives at QC where the place is and he dropped me off the place. He even told me "Mag ingat ka ha? San na ba kasama mo?" and his wife even said "Sino ba ka-date mo?" Syempre, I just said, friends :) Haha.

I went there. He was there. We drank couple of drinks then went home. He drove me home. One point. Something that my ex-boyfriend never did. Then starting that time, we chat and text not from time to time but every night. Two points. I don't have to tell him everything I am doing. As long as I'm okay and I'm not gonna do something bad. Trust. Something that me and my ex-boyfriend lacked.

Then came December 26 when he asked me out. I don't know what happened to my network (Boo Sun Cellular) and why I did not received his SMS'. Turned out, he went out with his cousins and me with Kat and Chelsea.

Then he told me that he will be leaving the Philippines January 7. Honestly, I was like "hala!!!" because it was just one date, with friends pa, and that I wanted to know him more because I suddenly felt that I like him.

I asked for other dates when he will be available blah blah. Then came January 1. He asked me if I wanna go out with him. We were supposed to go to Hyatt pero sobrang mahal. Di ko keri (even if he will be the one to pay for it, ayoko ng wala akong share e, so hanap ng ibang lugar) He then drove to Malacanang. To this one place where he used to go if he doesn't wanna go home (college days).

We spent the night watching this Korean movie in his laptop and he started to hold my hand. I told him that i don't like people leaving me. He told me that I should have thought of it before and accepted that he will leave because when we became close, he was already in Australia. He told me that he needs to stay there for 3 and a half years blah blah. To cut the story short, we held hands and kissed. I approved of everything that we did because I like him. We then slept and came the next day I need to go home. He drove me home, we kissed before I left his car.

That time was very magical. I felt that he liked me too and that he cares for me. After that, we still chatted and text then the day came that he had to leave. He texted me his whereabouts blah blah pero when he texted me that he's already inside the plane, it felt like a group message. That same date, I went out with Pia. I wanted to drink kasi I felt bad not seeing him before he left. Turned out, Pia and I just ate and shopped in Trinoma. Pia convinced me to cut bangs and have my hair trimmed (di ko kaya ng short hair e) When Drew came, somebody suddenly texted me.

"He" texted me that he's already in Melbourne. I did not care much about how it will cost me in texting him. I replied and when I told him that I will be going to morato with Pia, he then got protective and wanted me to go home. Pia and I ate first then I went home. He even asked me to skype him when I get home but he fell asleep. Haha

Then came Monday, the last day. We chatted and skype-d. It's never good to skype someone you like with your mom around. She was asking me questions while online. Err. Then he ended the conversation. He said he was tired and sleepy pero parang galit or whatever.

After that night, days passed and we never talked not chatted. Weird pero he even told me before "online na tayo magkikita" but where is he now? I know, we don't have a commitment but why so sudden?? I never wanted someone like this. I was very willing and I even made myself ready of everything since he's going back to Aus. I never imagined that it would end like this.

I spoke to few friends about this and they all told me to stop liking and speaking to him. My best friend even asked me if I know him that much. Surprisingly, I said No. I don't know him that much but I trusted him. I trusted him enough that he wont do this to me.

I spoke to a close friend and she told me that He was my rebound love. I found things/characteristics that I like in him that's why I felt that I liked him. I never really wanted rebound relationships. I never approved of it. But realizing what I did made me say that I did the wrong thing and karma hit me back, very fast.

Maybe they are right. I should start ignoring and stop liking you. I should start to help myself heal first. I should make myself love myself first. Maybe after, I will realise if I really liked you or if it was just a rebound relationship.

Year ender (late)

I now found a time to update. Yey!
I'm on VTO because I needed to rest. Rest my heart, mind, soul, body and just everything.

So I shall start.

A lot of things happened as the year 2011 ended and as 2012 started.

I broke up with my boyfriend for almost 3 years because I got fed up with all the things that were happening. Honestly, his attitude made me decide. His rude and selfish attitude. But i'm still thankful because I know that in those years, he had loved me. I have endured everything but well, as what people say, there's always that one time when you'll realise you're not happy anymore. Blah blah blah.


Pia, Drew and I are the best buddies these past few days. We always go out and I'm happy i have my social life back. There were lots of "bawal" when I had a boyfriend. Well, im out of the box and living my happy life.

Work is good. Imma turn 1 year on february! :) Imagine! I was the first one who told my wavemates that I wont last long because I dont really like the job but hey! all of those things changed because of my workmates, especially my team. :)

Rebound. will expound in my next post. hehe. So yun. Will post some recent pics as well, para fun :)